Build the Bathroom Yourself

On Carpentry, My Family, and Maybe Some Code

https://treehouse.disastermachines.com (offline)
(not actually Hammett)
"You build websites, right? Build the bathroom yourself!"

— Hammett Cardenas

Act 1: A Tale of Two Projects

The Treehouse

To Do
TREE-02
HALF-PIPE! 🛹
In Progress
TREE-01
Make it fun

The project we usually get.

The Garden

To Do
GAR-01
Buy 3" exterior deck screws
GAR-02
Cut (8) 4x4 posts to 80"
GAR-04
Pre-drill pilot holes to prevent splitting
GAR-05
Line beds with 1/2" hardware cloth
In Progress
GAR-03
Source 28ga corrugated steel
GAR-06
Level site to within 1/4"

The project we wish for.

THE BOSSES

Meet the Product Owners

My Kids
(The Visionaries)

Still trying to figure out what they want.

"Make it cool."

THE BOSSES

Meet the Product Owners

My Kids

My Wife
(The Spec-Writer)

Knows EXACTLY what she wants.

Down to the inch.

And the dollar.

THE BOSSES

Meet the Product Owners

My Kids
(The Visionaries)

My Wife
(The Spec-Writer)

WINGING IT

Guessing vs Knowing

  • Treehouse, guessing: A 12×12 platform between two trees, on a hill so uneven the tape measure and Pythagoras both failed me.
  • I built weird little 2×4 frames trying to pin down where the posts should land.
  • Finally I gave up, hung the whole frame from the trees, and dropped a plumb line from each corner to mark the spots.
  • I used some very thin ropes and a weak 2×4 kickstand.
  • And then I left it hanging overnight.

STORMY WEATHER

The next day, I woke up to a tree in my pool.

WINGING IT

Guessing vs Knowing

  • The brief changed on the spot: not a treehouse anymore, something the grandkids would climb. Concrete piers. Hurricane ties.
  • Garden, knowing: Knew the whole build before breaking ground. Planned around the weather. No surprises, no drama.

WINGING IT

Guessing vs Knowing

  • The brief changed on the spot: not a treehouse anymore, something the grandkids would climb. Concrete piers. Hurricane ties.
  • Garden, knowing: Knew the whole build before breaking ground. Planned around the weather. No surprises, no drama.

OSHA VIOLATIONS

Tech Debt vs. Guardrails

The fall I took…

…might have saved my eyesight.

OVERHEAD

"Do We Really Need a Roof?"

The roof I planned, I didn't need.

The roof I didn't plan, I did.

CHANGE ORDERS

The Kids Were Right

For the view. Too short.

For the budget. Also too short.

Act 2: Why Sweat the Details?

Because the kids sleep up there.

Because the garden feeds us.

LUMBER LIES

A 2x4 isn't actually 2"×4"

The Treehouse - 12'x12' platform
144" 141"

The Garden - 6' wall
72" 65"

MEASURE TWICE

Putting Pythagoras to Work

Check the diagonal. Then check the other diagonal. Equal? 👍

PUT DOWN THE PENCIL

Jigs

  • The Treehouse - Handmade jigs
  • The Garden - Storebought star

RETRO

The Retro

The Treehouse

  • 😭 Velocity: estimated 4 weekends, actual 3 months
    storm · handmade jigs · ambiguous requirements
  • 😭 Safety: several OSHA violations
  • 🥰 Stakeholder engagement: relentless
  • 🥰 Customer delight: exceeded expectations

The Garden

  • 😭 Team alignment: creative differences with the PO
  • 😭 Budget: constraints forced hard calls
  • 🥰 On time, under budget
    april showers · proper jigs · meticulous requirements
  • 🥰 Customer delight: exceeded expectations

The Real Build

It wasn't the treehouse.

It wasn't the garden.

It was confidence and discipline.

It was learning to build for the ones you care for.

Thank you, Hammett.

MY DIGITAL JIG

This is The Disaster Machine - my digital jig for rapidly turning my dumb ideas into production software.

Bathroom
→ Treehouse
→ Garden
→ The Disaster Machine

Every project is just a prototype for the next.

Thank you for listening.

https://treehouse.disastermachines.com (online)